Throughout our personal and professional lives, I have experienced, like many others, personalities, perceptions and projections who preferred to define me because to make themselves feel secure, safe and superior. I always look to appreciate those moments, for the contrast it creates and to the people who collaborated, celebrated and conversed with me, not to or at me. I believe everything starts and ends with us ultimately, so I got curious about myself so I could be better in my service for others who shared their experiences with me. One thing I know for sure is that when we look for words to teach, the whole process can be slow and dependant on our minds abilities to allow feelings. I came to an understanding that perception and projection become unreliable sources of definition for self concept. My first professional coaching as a client was in 2012. I was in a transition, a period of change and I needed to connect to my values and my strengths so my intention immediately created an enquiry, what are my strengths? I immediately recognised I was out of alignment, balance and without my job I had lost what I thought were my strengths, they were my skills.
I tried a few psychological tests and this result resonated and awakened a passion,
‘Advocates' tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people with this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all’.
I have always believed and applied the bumper sticker mentality – nothing is impossible. However, the best car in the world cannot take you to the right place if you do not know where to go. I now needed dig deeper, to integrate my conversations, tests with my actions, behaviour and communication style. From a young age I found myself in contrasting structured environments, school, swimming club, cubs/scouts, sports teams, religion, which influenced my own behavioural development and created many sub conscious and conscious beliefs and thought processes. Leadership coaching I have found it useful to adopt the combination of active conversation and active listening, essentially what’s not being said. The balance shifts from defining ourselves by external factors to internal, taking the opportunity to step into the what and the how we are being and doing. I refer to this as connecting to our energy, our centre, so we ground ourselves and ask: Who are you?
When we begin life into our physical body in the womb the blood and circulatory system, powered by the heart, form the first organ we develop. In fact it plays a larger role in our lives than most would want to believe. I AM may be based on our past, our present and our future. Where do you feel you spend most time and what feeling is evoked from each? Are the feelings mostly positive or negative? This process helped slow me, as I meditated using my breath to increase my own insight to achieve a senses clarity from within. Ultimately we have every answer we will ever need all within us. Whether or not we listen, are ready is dependant on our ego, pride, resistance and faith in a wholehearted life, or maybe not, only you can answer how much you live and align to what you want and how you express that.
“If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place. Primary reality is within; secondary reality without.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
We may recognise but not always be ready and we all experience limited life patterns. Acknowledgement is the first step and usually triggers acceptance or denial– either options offer two solutions – to allow or resist – both will create an effect on our energy. We could effectively run very high from two energy chakras, however to experience a free flow between all energy centres is when we experience the sureness from where who we are becomes a natural state of being.
I began to accept that the best reflection of who we may be comes from within us should we wish to act for positive change. By incorporating well being practices we create environments which allow us to pause, to reflect. The mindful way to connect to a truer version of ourselves with intuitive confidence and self assurance. If we base ourselves solely on the reactions of others we may only inhibit our true potential (see my feedback loop post).
My 10 Useful Tips
Buy the Gallup Strengthsfinder book, complete the online survey - hire a coach, healer, mentor
Get clear on your values, beliefs and ambitions and create a successful environment which enables them
Create an go within approach, the body then the mind, express feelings with words.
Create a morning mindfulness practice / routine which is a set point for yourself to be present and aware.
Create a strategy to develop personal and professional boundaries, barriers which are constructive and self serving.
Remember this quote – ‘You are responsible for the energy you bring into the room’ – Maya Angelou
Review the energy of those around you. At times we must clear the energies of people who are not supportive of us in our lives for who we are and who we want to become, you must be that responsible person.
Set intentions to achieve outcomes.
Active listening allows us to increase our self awareness, emotional intelligence and empowers our gut instinct.
Our failures offer equal lessons for growth as our successes if we let the obstacles become opportunities.
In every moment we must be ready to meet someone where they are by being who you are, this is challenging and can cause many frustrations. Gina Torres words remind me to step into my power from my heart and to act from my best intention and not react and or give away my power to another person. This may be a practice and requires time to feel as we are one, patience and self compassion is needed. I am on my journey and every step reveals what I need to know, I trust that is the gift in every moment. To attract the right people, situations and circumstances we must offer a consistent energy vibration. If you are unsure I would recommend going deeper to know your why, always know your why. Contact me for any support you may need because when we become responsible the shift that's possible is our possibility for a new beginning.